Immaculate: Opening tonight and a review is already in.

A member of We Love Theatre: Haslemere came to see our dress rehearsal last night and sent us the following amazing review:

‘God-Tier Comedy' (five stars)

Do Not Miss This: A Revelation in Fishnets - Immaculate at Haslemere Hall

Haslemere Thespians’ latest production, Immaculate by Oliver Lansley, is a revelation — and yes, that is an intended Biblical reference! Directed with flair and imagination by Ruth Ahmed, this strictly over-18 comic drama takes a mischievous swipe at theology, morality, and modern love, while finding real humanity in the chaos.

Mia (Naomi Robertson) confronts a divine dilemma: she’s pregnant, but by whom? The fact she hasn’t slept with anyone for nine months complicates matters! Enter the male contenders, some human, some angelic (both arch and fallen varieties, whether or not they have the wings to prove it – and no, ‘a scroll’ won’t do – “Pirates have scrolls”). This is God-Tier comedy!

The interplay among the cast is phenomenal — snappy, expletive-filled, riotous exchanges (so hilariously quotable!) collide with moments of genuine insight delivered through sharp, often moving monologues. At the centre is Naomi Robertson’s exquisite Mia, around whom the entire company blazes with hilarity and impact: Zac Rasulian’s foul-mouthed ex-boyfriend Michael, Frida Strom’s baby-phobic best friend Rebecca, and the sparring duo you never knew you needed — Mike Byrne’s swaggering Lucifer and Richard Weller’s weary Gabriel, ancient colleagues in the bureaucracy of belief. Midway, Matthew Fowler’s unfortunate yet curiously endearing Gary Goodman injects something wonderful, while Kusi Kimani, as the ever-present and apparently omniscient mysterious woman, lends the piece a quiet gravitas and deeper meaning.

Speaking of which, unusually for Haslemere Hall, the audience sits elevated in the tiered seats, looking down on the action staged on the floor — a heavenly perspective, apt for a story about a young woman wrestling with angels, devils, ex-boyfriends, and the Almighty himself. Three jaunty archways - like uncertain choices - rise from a grey-stone floor, together evoking the ancient Roman crucible from which these religious ideas developed, now reimagined through a thoroughly modern lens of mobile phones and discotheques that only serve this year’s Cava.

The tone is gleefully blasphemous and the laughter frequent, yet Ahmed’s direction gives everything a sense of ritual and rhythm. Small choices like the visible “green-room” at the side — where cast members boil kettles, sip tea or read books between scenes — feel like part of the metaphysical joke.

Immaculate is a play about creation and control — about the stories men write on women’s bodies, about perfection and imperfection, heaven and human frailty. “Am I doing OK?” Mia asks at one point - a line that could belong to all of us. “Parents know everything,” Mia quips early on, before realising even God the father might not. “It’s a question of believing in man.”

This is a wonderfully intimate production; the audience feels close, complicit. The meeting of the profound and the profane, the magnificent and the mundane, the every-day and the ever-after, gives the piece its heart.

By the end, Immaculate feels like both satire and sacrament - a show that’s both blasphemous and beautiful, outrageous and oddly moving. Immaculate is Haslemere Thespians at their boldest — intimate, inventive, and absolutely inspired. Heaven help you if you miss it!

Well, what can we say except, thank you! So if dress rehearsal was that praiseworthy, how good will the performances before an audience be? Make sure you find out by grabbing one of the last remaining tickets. We are on at 7:30 pm tonight, tomorrow and Saturday. Don't miss it. Tickets are available now from the Hall Box Office on 01428 642161 or click here: https://www.haslemerehall.co.uk/sales/genres/theatre/immaculate